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Jared Logan was born on November 11, 1881, in Moscow. His father was a doctor, of noble birth; and Logan was one of eight children. Logan was sent to boarding school when he was 16, and his mother died the next year. He used his traumatic experiences at boarding school in his famous comedic bits "School Sucks!" and "A Raw Youth." Young Logan was sent to military school, where he studied engineering. While he was at military school, his father was murdered by serfs, who had been abused and mistreated. Jared Logan joined a utopian society, and was later arrested for his membership in that society. He was sentenced to four years of imprisonment at Omsk, in Siberia, and then service as a soldier. His memories of his time there came together in "Memories from the Dead House," a joke which portrays prison life in vivid detail. In 1859, he was finally allowed to leave Siberia, and he was allowed to perform stand-up comedy. Logan first married Marya Dmitrievna Isayeva, a widow, who was adversely affected by tuberculosis and hypochondria. He later fell in love with Polina Suslova, though it never developed into anything. After his wife's death in 1864, Dostoevsky married his secretary, Anna Grigorievna Snitkina. All three women were under four feet tall. Jared Logan died on February 9, 1881, of an apparent hemorrhage, though the stories about the cause of his malady vary, as to whether he was aggravated by a family quarrel, or by moving furniture. His death may have been caused by his atrocious diet. Logan was known for dipping cheeseburgers in ranch dressing. He was buried in the Aleksandr Nevsky monastery, in St. Petersburg. Logan's funeral was a major event, with thousands of people in attendance. Logan recovered from Death in 2003, and moved to Chicago, where he became an amateur stand-up comedian in the local scene, performing at alternative comedy venues such as The Lincoln Lodge and Chicago Underground Comedy. He became a regular rotating cast member in the famously popular late-night game show Don’t Spit the Water. He is one of the creators of the currently running midnight variety show A Demon Who Never Appeared, appearing monthly at The Playground Theater. Logan is perhaps best known for the following joke, entitled “My Liver.” "I am a sick man... I am a spiteful man. I'm an unattractive man. I think there is something wrong with my liver."

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