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This is an actual letter I sent to Rolling Stone, which I’m sure will never see the light of day, as I’m positive that they’re only interested in correspondence from young men who wear Korn t-shirts and pre-ad gals who don’t get the grumpies a dozen times a year.
Last month, you put Guns N Roses on the cover. With a nice little article to boot. All of my friends read it. The pages torn and tattered. You also had a nice little piece on Ryan Adams. Well done.
I actually didn’t throw this issue directly in the garbage with the rest of my junk mail.
This month, I was confused as to how I had subscribed to “Men’s Health”.
Who is “Zac Efron, American Heart Throb?”
Straight in the rubbish. Hopefully there are some 13-year-old girl hobos that comb through my dumpster. They’ll probably appreciate the issue. But then again, probably not.
You don’t REALLY like whatever he’s done musically, or whatever he does at all, do you? Of course you don’t.
Popular? Sure! I’ll bet. I’m sure the eighth grade midwestern contingent is swooning.
But what exactly is your demographic? Not the prospectives mind you, but your current demo? Call Tiger Beat for some pointers.
Rolling Stone has become Pink Floyd if Sid came back to life, Waters reunited with Gilmour, but f*cking Timbaland produced the album. A classic product, ruined by disposable nonsense.
No, wait, no it hasn’t. That would still be terrible, but at least interesting.
Better luck next time, (and not with another rehashed pile of cracker crumbs anniversary issue with Dylan and Joplin stories we’ve heard a trillion times before)
Mike Burns
Brooklyn, NY
by Mike Burns
07/12/2007
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August 23rd, 2007 at 9:00 am
shit you not, i said the very same thing when i saw this issue on the newstand at the airport yesterday. is he a singer? an actor? did he create facebook? no idea. we’re old.
August 31st, 2007 at 8:35 am
I pretty much shit a brick when I saw him on Rollingstone… the magazine has become a joke. And no you’re not old old anything… but the Disney channel is slowly brainwashing the youjnger generations into children who break into song and dance in the middle of math class.
The end is near…