by Michael Vick

Meow meow motherfuckers, that’s right. My name is Michael Vick and I said your dogs are all a bunch of fucking pussies. Little cats, playing with their cat balls like a ball of yarn, frolicking in the gay-ass sun with a wet pussy rainbow over their heads. My dogs would eat your face, and that’s just the way God, my lord and savior, intended it. Dogs were put on this earth to befriend and protect man. How your dog gonna protect you when that shit is in a pink purse? Every time you put that dog in a pink purse, it’s like you are putting that dog in your pussy, dogfucker, trying to get him used to his new self. “See how this is nice and warm for you, like a pussy? That’s what you are now little doggy, a pink pussy. Get nice and comfortable with your pussy self.”

Now Buster Brown, that was a good dog, I would not have killed him. He was always savin the Little Rascals when they was in trouble, and that was good, because those were some funny little fuckers. Remember when they made that cake and put all those prizes in the cake? But they weren’t prizes, it was shit like shoes? And kids was eatin shoe? That shit was hilarious. Buster was too smart to stop that shit. Only pussy dogs like Lassie would have stop a good shoe eatin’. Lassie was always savin stupid kids when they shoulda been dyin’. I would kill them pussy ass kids, and then I would kill that pussy ass dog.

Listen up, I ain’t no Ving Rhames, cause that is a crazy motherfucker. He training his dogs to guard slaves, so either I guess he has some or he’s thinking about getting some. I would be putting up a fence if I was his neighbor, in case he tries to slave them. That musta been his test slave that got eatin up by his dogs, at his house. My dogs don’t be guardin no slaves, because slaves are a lot of work, and I have to play football sometimes. But damn, I do have so say, Ving Rhames’ dogs: not at all some pussies!

Your dog probably got straight A’s at PetSmart class and still pisses himself during a thunderstorm. What did he learn? PussyPassiveism. With the devolution of dogs you encouraging, his balls are gonna suck up into himself and become some cat titties. Meow meow, little pussy.

Tony Taylor struck a deal like a real bitch. You know why? Cause he’s a big pussy too and he can’t wait to get to prison and get raped. If I ever see him again, I ain’t gonna do nothin. You know why? Cause I trained my dogs not to be pussies, and they’ll take care of his big mouth by puttin something in it. And I’ll go back to playing football. Football and dog rape: That’s what I’m talkin about. The American Dream. So bring your dog on over, I’ll test it out, if it ain’t no dog, I’ll help you out. This is a motherfuckin revolution, the de-pussification of canines. And if you bring your pink purse, my dogs will eat that too. Pussy.

16/08/2007
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