I live in Los Angeles. A couple weeks ago I drove up the coast to San Francisco. I’ve been to Seattle and Portland and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed both. The west coast overall is perhaps the most enjoyable region I’ve ever visited. The weather is perfect, the people are relaxed, the food is delicious and the wine is even better. However, if you aren’t from the west coast, and you visit the west coast, there is something you should know; be aware of; keep an eye out for. Pedestrians. The laws that govern them are completely counter-intuative, wasteful, akward and dangerous, not to mention disengenuous.

People can just cross whenever. Anywhere else in the country, people cross the street - when its safe to cross the fucking street! Usually when traffic lights make it that way. Or, when no cars are coming. Pedestrians have the right-of-way everywhere, but that doesn’t mean they use it. You know why? because cars win. And you never know how competitive the person driving them is. Or stupid. Or angry. Or old. Or insured.

I wont say that people in California are stupid, but they don’t give a shit about being smart. Putting their lives in the hands of motorists just to exercise their rights as pedestrians, is one of the main reasons i feel this way. It’s fucking idiotic. Come on California.

Especially in California. The traffic here is oppressive. Back to back. It’s thick and quick and always on top of you. You can’t throw yourself out into that! Don’t do it. I am never not amazed when I see 4 lanes of rush hour traffic come to a complete stop because some fat ass can’t wait to get to Office Max. Aside from the fact that it makes no sense for 50 people to have to wait 30 seconds so that one doesn’t have to wait 300, its incredibly wasteful to make all those cars come to a complete stop, then get back to going 40 MPH. In a city with air that tastes like the bottom of a bus, you’d think they’d be better at deciding when chivalry is appropriate.

And about that. The chivalrous component of this whole pedestrian arrangement. It’s a load of crap. They write jaywalking tickets faster than seatbelt tickets out here. If you want to cross the street, you have to go all the way down to a crosswalk. Even if no cars are coming. But of course by the time you get to the crosswalk, they are, and then there’s this whole bullshit ritual where the pedestrians pretend to be exercising their right to the road at their leisure (as if they hadn’t just walked 75 yards to do it) and cars wait for them to walk as if they’re filling their politeness quota for the week. Which, after getting pissed about having to stop for 3 people that could’ve easily waited 4 seconds for you to go by, probably gets easier to fill every day.

As a pedestrian, I’m not comfortable stopping traffic. I’m just fine with waiting for cars to go. I feel safer waiting for cars than having cars wait for me. And negotiating a city on foot only using crosswalks, is like tagging up with 2 outs. I feel like my little league coach is standing on my shoulder screaming at me to “Craig!!- You gotta be movin’ Craig!… I thought you were a better ball player!”

I can’t believe they don’t make people take a class. If they didn’t know deep down how idiotic it is to give pedestrians the right to completely stop traffic, they might be able to justify doing so. As is, they should at least make people read a brochure or some literature of some sort. I’m for sure gonna hit someone.

06/07/2007
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