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The following is an actual exchange of text messages sent between Kyle Kinane,
11:56PM Los Angeles Time, and Mike Burns, 2:56AM New York Time.
KINANE: *meatballs jackson!
BURNS: I’m by myself. drunk and high. surrounded by wearhouses deep in brooklyn. overdrawn account. no credit cards. no cash. *olive garden!
KINANE: I want to help. Remember to cover your face during the jump.
BURNS: I know the drill.
KINANE: Put your hands together for *Remo Williams!
BURNS: get your singles ready for *fear factory!
KINANE: *root canal!
KINANE: *Cable Box!
BURNS: *dirty pennies!
KINANE: *From The Broiler!
KINANE: This is killing me. Save these.
(Burns’ phone dies. Following is from someone else’s phone upon arrival at )
BURNS: Burns’ phone is dead But he’s alive. *(erased and unremembered fake stripper name. probably something like “sour cream”.)
KINANE: Good. I’m going sleepberries.
* horrible, fake stripper names
by Mike Burns
26/06/2007
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