I was recently sent on assignment here at blerds.com to check out the 2007 Chicago Auto Show. Too lazy to attend I just now read about it online. It sounds like I didn’t miss out on much. As far as auto shows go, this year’s C.A.S was S.H.I.T! (author chuckles to himself) There was only one concept car unveiled there this year. And it was a Kia. (author holds back a laugh) I have no idea what it takes to make a good auto show, but from what I’ve read, it requires lots of concept cars, preferably from manufacturers other than Kia. (author manages to hold in laugh but does snort loudly)

If you’re not familiar, concept cars are really sweet cars that all the major auto manufacturers make every year to show people the awesome cars they have the ability to make, but never will. These cars are amazing. All the problems that they can’t solve with ordinary cars are clearly fixed with these things.

“This car has zero emissions, runs on renewable solar power and has a lightweight frame that’s so strong it can withstand any collision imaginable. We will never make this car. Absolutely not. Not if it’s the last thing we do. We’d love to make it, but it’s too cost prohibitive. Every time we produce one of these cars we have to close a Buick plant in Michigan.”

There’s almost no return on their investment. Car companies spend a ton of money making all these amazing cars and hardly any of them actually make it to the road. When they finally do it usually turns out to be a let down.

“Great, the Plymouth Prowler. And its purple. Sorry kids, you’re gonna have to ask your mother for a ride to practice today. I’ve got the Prowler. Have fun, I’m gonna go break The Penguin out of jail.”

They need to stop wasting all this money just to tease us or disappoint us. Every year they make these incredible cars that we’d all love to drive but that they’ll never make. Except for Kia. They’ll probably make that damn thing.

09/04/2007
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