This girl at work dropped her sandwich in the lunch room.  I immediately said “what kind of sandwich was that–Fumblebee Tuna?”  It got me thinking.  Wow, Kyle, you’re pretty goddamn hilarious with food jokes and/or puns.  As I was even thinking that, I blurted out ”Did you use mayonnaise or Miracle Whoops?”  I was so good I started to get scared.

I’ve learned to not fight my gift though.  No point in swimming upstream unless your a salmon or a retard, right?  I just let it flow.  Like how I told my Chinese neighbor he should open up a restaurant called Wok You Like A Hurricane and he said he was actually Vietnamese and right away I was like what about Pho Whom The Bell Tolls?  Then I told him the Mexicans downstairs could have a joint called Flan On The Silver Mountain, which is double badass for being a Rainbow song that sounds like it should be about some crazy Aztec shit already.

Then I saw a fat guy eating Funyons and I called him Snackasaurus Rex.

Crapplebee’s…that’s another one that I said.

I renamed the vegetarian place on my corner Soy The World, Soy Division, and Let’s Here It For The Soy, depending on my mood.  Sometimes I just call it Gay Vegetables.

The chicken place I call It’s Raining Hen.

21/03/2007
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