If you ever want me to go do something dangerous with you like skydiving, sailing around the world, or climbing Mount Everest, I’ll do it, under one condition… Rulon Gardner is coming with us. The heavyweight champion in wrestling from the 2000 Olympics just survived a small plane crash into the 44-degree water of Lake Powell in Utah. He swam more than an hour to reach the shore, where he then stayed overnight without shelter. A fisherman, who inexplicably took a different route, rescued him the following day. Lucky you say? Absolutely. That is unless your name is Rulon Gardner.

Here’s a guy who brought a bow and arrow to show-and-tell in high school only to be impaled by the arrow in his abdomen. Emergency room doctors were amazed to see Gardner survive the accident considering the arrow was extremely close to striking a major artery.

Following modest success in college and his early professional career, Gardner arrived at the 2000 Olympics a virtual unknown. All the attention that year was focused on Russia’s Alexander Karelin. Known to the media as ‘The Experiment’, Karelin was undefeated in his professional career from 1987 to 2000. The final six years of the streak he did not surrender a single point. It was rumored that Karelin spent his time training for the Olympics by carrying a refrigerator up and down the stairs of his 40-story apartment building in Moscow. What was in the fridge? Christ, does it even matter? It could be yogurt and celery and that’s still the most impressive thing I’ve ever heard. Gardner’s 1-0 upset of Karelin is widely regarded as the greatest upset in sports history because Gardner had no team to rely on.

Following a string of awards in 2001 for his Olympic upset, Gardner returned to his native Wyoming to train. While there in 2002 he went snowmobiling with friends. After falling behind, Gardner had to crisscross the ice-cold Snake River in an attempt to find his friends. After taking his snowmobile down a ridge he got it stuck in a water hole. With the sun going down and four feet of snow all around him, Gardner found a cluster of trees and took shelter. He took to contorting himself into weird positions to keep from freezing and didn’t let himself fall asleep for fear he wouldn’t wake up. The following morning a search plane rescued him. After being airlifted to the local hospital he was treated for hypothermia and had a toe amputated. If you and I tried to spend a night in the Wyoming wilderness we’d lose our life, Rulon lost a toe.

Two years later, while on his way to practice for the 2004 Olympics, Gardner was struck by a car while riding his motorcycle. He walked away from the accident with abrasions and a sore heel. This is the guy who beat Alexander Karelin and survived a water-soaked night in the Wyoming wilderness; you’re going to have to do a whole lot better than a motorcycle accident. Up until a few weeks ago I would have told you that a plane crash into the icy waters of Lake Powell would probably do the job. Nope. Not a problem for Rulon. We should start making Rulon Gardner’s presence mandatory on all space flights. I can see it now. Space shuttle breaks up on re-entry. Sadness and despair consume everyone. Then, suddenly emerging from the wreckage is a single, wide figure on the horizon. It’s Rulon Gardner. But oh no, he needs immediate medical attention. He lost a nail.

11/03/2007
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