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Here is a list of things nobody cares about:
1. Polio.
2. The result of my application for a super saver card at my Jewel Osco Superemarket.
3. Whether or not Paris Hilton is aware of the emptiness of her own existence.
4. War anywhere south of South Africa.
5. Candice Bergman (although you should).
6. Imps vs. Fairies: Which is more whimsical.
7. War anywhere North of Siberia.
8. The metalic composition of Rappers’ Gold Chains (although you should).
9. Gay guys names Larred.
10. The amount of time I put in buying that gift for you, Susan.
11. Flight patterns of most Northern European birds.
12. Gay guys named Jarry.
13. My Fantasy Shuffleboard team.
14. The 2006 Canadian Suffleboard Championship results. Which were:
Mixed Doubles: Susan Clark & Nick Billings/BCSA
Ladies Singles: Liz Patrick/SSA
Men’s Singles: Mike Jacoby/MSA
Ladies Doubles: Chucky Boustead & Carla Dempsey/VISA
Men’s Doubles: Harvey Groleau & Mike Jacoby/MSA
12. Numbered Ordering (You shouldn’t)
13. Lists of things no one cares about.
by TJ Miller
15/02/2007
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February 21st, 2007 at 11:35 pm
I don’t think you understand the magnitude of the arguement as to which is more whimsical (imps or fairies). I have dedicated the last 43 days of my life studying countless books, archival footage, and microfeesh to find the answer to the query. And you tell me this is all for naught? How dare you! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go play World of Warcraft while watching the Lord of the Ring trilogy… Good day sir!
March 2nd, 2007 at 8:39 am
I disagree! People should care about flight patterns of most Northern European birds. After all, if they fly south, it means you have to use butter, not jam, on your toast. If they fly north, you have to wear tube socks of a grayish color. If they were to fly east, if they should want to do that, well, then they fly east. If they fly west it means that a great many people will be hungry by noon. And if they form a perfect arrow, whilst in midair, then you’ll know what life is about and all is good and tranquil. But if they were to form a guitar shaped pattern in flight, then you know it’s time to rock out. So you can put that in your pipe and smoke it. Who care now, TJ, who cares now?!?!