I’m sorry for saying what I’m about to say, but I have no choice. After what I just went through, I have just one question that needs to be answered:

HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD?

Has it? Somebody, for crying out fucking loud tell me right fucking now if the world has gone mad? Or is it just me? I need to know.

I need to know if the only life-yielding planet known to mankind is a complete ball of crazy or what? Or what? Or am I just a know-nothing, can’t-do-right, good-for-shit man with a drawer full of weapons? That’s what I need to know.

DO YOU HEAR ME OUT THERE? DO YOU?

I need to know right now if this gravity-whore of a sphere has gone from nothing-doing to what-the-fuck-is-going-on psycho or if I’m just a chicken suit trapped in a man’s body?

BECAUSE IT’S EITHER ONE OR THE OTHER!

Either the floating blue-frosted munchkin has a few screws loose in its axis or I’m a certifiable madman with the suspended deer hunting license to prove it.

Are you with me people? You tell me MOTHERFUCKER! YOU TELL ME!

So here it goes. I’m at your standard supermarket chain standing in an express line like any other average working class JOE who happens to be out of work because of a number of unsubstantiated claims about a special drawer in my desk that was RUMORED to be filled to the brim with semi-automatic weapons and ammo. You listening to this shit? Standing in a fucking EXPRESS LINE at a super market and the guy in front of me tries to claim that a TWO-FOR-ONE coupon allows him to count EIGHT ITEMS AS FOUR!

So answer me this: Has the world gone FUCKING MAD or am I just a backwards jacket shy of being a hippo in a hen house?

06/02/2007
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