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Walk dont Run..

 
   

Jogging is not natural.  Joggers look terrible and should die,  jogging.  The human body is not meant for jogging, it was designed to either be walking or in full sprint mode.  Anything in between of that is man made nonsense.  In the history of foot transportation, the goal of transportation was birthed from two motives: one either walked to somewhere they desired to go, or immediately ran from the location they were currently in.   People either walked to the village they wanted to go to, or ran at full speed because there was mountain lion directly behind them.   Running was birthed out of survival.   People ran to get the fuck out of the place they were standing in,  they did not jog a lap and come back to that death location.   Noone ever had to pick up the walking pace to a light trot to remain a safe pace from a dangerously large land turtle niping at their sandals.  There was certainly never a reason to “cool down” in the middle of a run to check your cardio heart rate scale.  It was safe to say that the ticker was pumping furiously  already at 150 beats of killer wolves coming for your ass per minute.   That was plenty of a high impact cardio routine.  

I personally have begun taking walks for that reason, also  If I did jog, I am certain I would die.  I enjoy when people die jogging, especially in marathons, the most unnatural man made event of them all.    Twenty six city miles travelled on foot at a brisk pace while all of the traffic and buisness of the city is shit out of luck all because Gary set himself a goal this year.  Good for you , Gary, I hope you die with a pinney on your chest.  There is no dignity in dying as #102-25  in the Prudentential Boston Marathon.  I will die, probably soon, but it will not be with a pinney on.

 

by CJ Sullivan

 

     

One Comment to “Walk dont Run..”

  1. Sean Flannery Says:

    Indisputable proof that, no matter how many rock stars you date, you will always –even after your 20th Gatorade commercial– look ridiculous in a piney:

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