While on a 30 city midwest tour to promote his new fragrance, 61-year old Classic Rocker Bob Seger collapsed at a Livonia, MI drugstore on Saturday. A visibly intoxicated Seger shocked patrons when he removed his pants and urinated on a toy race car bearing the Chevrolet logo. Seger then commenced to destroy a display of holiday ornaments while shouting, “Suck my grey balls Chevrolet!”

Various other profane attacks against the car manufacturer continued for several minutes as Seger threw a number of “air punches”, most resulting in the Classic Rocker falling to the floor or crashing into a display. Seger was heard screaming, “I hope you’re happy with your new boy toy you fucking whore!” before being rushed into his 2006 Chevrolet Silverado (with added Z-71 off-road package) by publicists.

Seger had apparently become distraught in recent weeks over Chevrolet’s decision to feature Classic Rocker John Mellencamp’s “This Is Our Country” in their newest ad campaign. Seger’s recently released album, “Face The Promise” has suffered poor sales which friends say is causing added stress.

Born in Detroit, Seger, had been a long time supporter of American auto workers, scoring a huge hit with the famed Chevrolet ad that featured “Like A Rock” in 1986.

Seger was on tour to promote his new signature cologne, “Night Moves”, which is exclusively featured at Rite Aid pharmacies until Christmas. A Rite Aid representative was quoted as saying that, “The tour has been suspended indefinitely. Fucking Seger. And “Night Moves” cologne? Jesus.”

by Mike Burns

30/11/2006
RSS 2.0 / trackback