While all magicians might not exactly be confirmed pedophiles, there is definately something very “molesty” about the craft altogether.   Similar to this,  not all adults who find entertainment  from shiny distractions are dumb, but one that enjoys magic, certainly is.  The cheap jokes coupled with the revealing of live animals in their garments, while wearing a disco ball top with black multi-pocketed stretch pants screams putting a child’s genitalia at ease.  The hand gestures, and “magic” words that allows everything to happen in this fake smoky world  that everyone is sworn to secrecy is on the first page of the F.B.I.’s  child predator handbook.  I’m sure Stone Phillips can do an entire spinoff molesting show just on the cases that own the, “Harry Blackstone ’Lil’ Magicians Starting Kit”.   The stage background for all magicians should always be the inside of a back of a van.  He should always enter through a large sliding door van instead of the deceiving curtain, before he enters his stage that is decorated with dangling “fun size” Kit Kat bars from the ceiling.   Then,  they should be able to perform their deception of trick of hand and card tricks that lure the naive.  

Magicians never reveal their secrets, no matter how hard they are probed.  Here is a few of the terms they use in the lockers that doesnt take much translation:

Cold (deck) - Switching in a stacked deck       (ok)

Ditch - To secretly get rid of an object or gimmick     (like child’s pants)

Flash - To accidentally expose an object or part of an object momentarily during a secret move.   (c’mon)

Lapping - Dropping an object into one’s lap to vanish it (done while seated).

Manipulator - A magician with a showy sleight of hand act, often set to music, who produces cards/coins etc or multiplies balls in the air.

Anal Sexer -  Dropping an object, or child’s anus onto the magicians lap after their parents have paid you $100 to perform at their birthday and pretend to steal Grandpa’s watch.

Having vaginal sex with a 7 year old girl   -   Card trick.  

Like I said before, not all of these masters of the molesting arts are pedophiles.  Copperfield lures beautiful wives into his mansions, and I’m sure Ken Delo, Jay Aleander, Bill Bixby, and the Black Hermans of the world are really dedicated to their cheesy moronic lifestyle.  I know as a kid I really enjoyed magic, and looking back at it, I don’t know how I survived.

20/11/2006
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