* India sets 2007 deadline to eradicate Polio

Slow down India! Are you sure you only want to be fifty years behind us on this? Fortunately for India, this is one of the things that the United States figured out how to do fifty years ago that we don’t mind sharing with the rest of the World.

* Ethiopia unveils 3.3 million-year-old fossil of girl

The fossilized remains of the girl, who scientists believe died in a flood at the age of three, are presumed to be the oldest Ethiopian ever to be found, in a stand-up act.

“Died in a flood? When was the last time an Ethiopian died from too much water? Probably 3.3 million years ago. Let me guess, her brother died from too much grain?”

* For 4th time, Pope clarifies Islam remark

“Look, I was just citing a conversation between a 14th-century Christian Byzantine emperor and an Islamic Persian, as I am oft to do. Anyone who knows me really well will tell you; sometimes I tend to quote Manuel II without really thinking first. I was getting desperate. I had already used two JFK quotes and three of Martin Luther King Jr’s. It was down to Manuel II and Yogi Berra. Forgive me again, but, ’show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman’, seemed to fit the occasion better than, ‘baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical’. I see now I was wrong. I would now like to end this fourth apology as I should have ended my speech. Yogi Berra once said, ‘I never said most of the things I said’.”

* Top Republican co-hosts Lieberman fundraiser

Also appearing at the fundraiser were two descendents of the Hatfield and McCoy famalies who are now married, as well as a recently engaged toy poodle and Siamese cat.

* Music lessons may improve young children’s memories

The study revealed that children who don’t learn to play an instrument are three times less likely to remember cheese-dick ways to get laid at college parties.

* No illegal drug, alcohol used by pilots in Kentucky crash - NTSB

Both pilots were however taking the legal prescription drug, Promitol, an allergy medication that’s side effects include an impaired perception of distances, most commonly causing users to over-estimate the length of runways.

* Chavez calls Bush ‘the devil’ at U.N.

The remark comes in response to Bush calling Chavez a ‘big meanie’, two weeks ago at Chuck E. Cheese.

27/09/2006
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