Here are this week’s headlines from Yahoo, and my take on each one.

*Ethiopia prepared to invade Somalia

In preparation for the invasion, 200,000 troops have been positioned along the Somali border, supplied with nine goats, five sacks of grain and two cases of bottled water.

*Bush vetoes stem cell bill as promised

The veto is the first one of Bush’s administration and only the second promise he’s ever kept to Jesus.

*94-year-old John ‘Buck’ O’Neal plays in Minor League game

Inspired by the success of O’Neal’s appearance, The Lynchburg Hillcats of The Carolina League have agreed to a one-day contract with six-day-old fetus, Claude ‘Clete’ Strapfister.

*Cusack wins restraining order against woman

The 42nd Annual Restraining Order Against Woman Awards were held Wednesday night at the Shrine Civic Auditorium in Los Angeles. 7,000 people watched the show in the auditorium, while another 3,000 took in the events 300 to 500 feet away.

*Beaches sicken 1.5M in California – study

Experts believe that businesses nationwide lose over 200,000 man-hours every year thanks to the debilitating after-effects of watching the movie.

*Africa, Arabia slowly splitting apart – study

That’s how you know things have really taken a turn for the worst in the Middle East, neighboring continents are physically shifting to distance themselves from the violence.

21/07/2006
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