What is the dumbest REAL name you’ve ever heard? I’m talking about kids you knew growing up or people you work with.

I’ll start with some of mine from school…

- Bobby Woodsmall went to my middle school. Buddie Frisbee did too. I’ve met a white kid named Tyrell Pace and another white kid named LeRoy Jackson. Where I’m from, the trailer park kids can have the dopest names. I played high school baseball with Jason Slutts. Jason Slutts would kick your ass, though. You had to say his last name real quick - BANG Slutts - because the slower you say ‘Slutts’ the funnier it sounds. Dick was a fairly common last name in my town. And my high school principal’s last name was Heiman.

BUT THEN - I went to whitepages.com to try to see what ridiculous names there were on 411 across the country. Here are the best ones so far… the Top 5.

5. Sidney T Hitler, DDS of New York City. A dentist!!! There were 12 Hitlers listed in the United States, but only one DENTIST!!!! Who the hell would go to Dr. Hitler?

4. Joyce Shit of Buena Park, California. Joyce should be higher on the list, but there is also a Joong Soo Shit and she is deducted points for being Asian. They don’t know any better…

3. Dave & Cindy Homo of Franklin, New Hampshire. Change your fucking name Dave and Cindy. Change it. Do it now.

2. The wonderful family of Leon & Bonnie Poop of Crivitz, Wisconsin. Can you imagine meeting Bonnie Poop with a strait face? You can’t. Her name is Bonnie Poop. “Hi, I’m Mike Bridenstine”. “I’m BONNIE POOP”. Me = on the floor.

1. Rowlett, Texas’s own Gale Fart.

Gale Fart may be just about the funniest thing I’ve heard in weeks. Gale Fart. I just got a giggle fit. I don’t know why it’s so funny to me. Gale Fart, you are the big winner.

20/07/2006
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