Let’s talk about partying.  It’s really real.  I got to party all the time man.  I drink a beer and then another, and then I dance.  I’m looking to get down with some chicks if I can man.  I’m looking to really hook up tonight, I got to have a rum and coke and talk to girls until I get one to come home.  It’s a game of percentages man.  You think a batter only swings at the balls he thinks are sexually attractive?  No.  He swings at anything he thinks he can hit, and eventually he’s going to hit one out of the park, unless he’s a pitcher, because they don’t usually hit home runs.  I think I might be a pitcher. 
     But still man, I got to party.  I just drink and dance and talk to girls and sometimes to my friends but only in anticipation of the opportunity to talk to more girls.  Like I’ll be talkin’ to some friend of mine, and really I’m looking at other girls to see if I can edge in and talk to one.  And then my friend will be like “Don’t you think he could have given me more notice?”  And I’ll be like “fuck no bro,  fuck no.”  And he’ll be like “what?”  And I’ll say “man I’m fuckin’ partying.”  And then he’ll get all pissed and I’ll try and calm him down and he’ll just keep whining and then I’ll beat his ass.  Or apologize.  Usually I apologize.  Always, really.  Man, cuz I got to get a girl to come home, you know.  I can’t be beatin’ up my friends’ faces in front of these hot girls. 
    I mean, man, I’m looking for a real human connection with a female, something that I can hold onto so that I don’t feel fundamentally alone in the world, and although I know that a sexual experience is not going to fulfill that need, it is the closest thing that I can get to it at this point.  It’s not like I’ve come across anyone who can express the thoughts that are constantly going through my head, and yeah that’s due in part to the fact that I can’t express them myself, bro.  I know that.  I mean, sex with these girls is an orgiastic state just like any other drug, and if I can experience that interval of complete happiness and connection, no matter how ephemeral, then I’ll do just about anything to get it.  What the fuck am I talking about?  Nothing man, just nothing.  I need another drink.  I love me some red bull and vodka.  Man because usually I pass out when I drink, but now there’s a drink that I can drink and get tired, but then get awake and drink more, and then just keep going.  I mean in a way you could drink for eternity if you kept drinking red bull and vodkas as long as there are equal parts of each.  An eternity of slowly getting more and more drunk and more and more awake until you couldn’t drink anymore, because you were so tired-awake.  Tawake.  Or awired.  The latter term is bitchin!  But I can only drink 3 before I get diarrhea.  So I don’t drink more than 3. 
    There is no single word besides “accompanied” that means the opposite of alone.  And the word alone is so powerful, and accompanied sounds like other people are just in the room, or that you paid some hot girl to go to a social function with you like a debutante ball.  Fuck that noise.  “With others?”  That doesn’t work.  This is no word for when you are with someone else and you feel the exact opposite of alone.  Oh man I hope they play another outkast song because that’s like a sea of chicks hitting the dance floor at once and if I position myself in the middle I can hit on like eleven girls.  You know of those eleven I gots to be takin’ one home for some false emotional connection ass TONIGHT!!!! 

22/06/2006
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