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Monkeys!

 
   
I think we all realize that that the funniest thing in the world, objectively, is monkeys dressed up as humans. It is impossible for a human being to look at a monkey dressed as a person and not giggle a little bit. Even the most jaded can’t help but go “Ok thats actually kinda funny.” Of course, while all monkeys dressed as humans are funny, they are not all equally funny. Here is a list of human clothes: in order of how funny they are on monkeys, from funniest to least funny, but still pretty goshdarn funny:
1. Suit and tie. This one is pretty obvious. Bonus points for a three piece suit. The funniest from this category would be a monkey in one of those penguin tail suits.
2. Any uniform. Monkeys in sailor outfits, monkeys in cop outfits, monkeys in painters’ clothes with a brush in their hand, monkeys dressed as train engineers. The funniest in this category, of course, is a monkey dressed as a traffic warden directing traffic. It almost rivals the aforementioned monkeys in tail-suits for pure hilarity.
3. Kid clothes: Monkeys in clothes usually reserved for human babies: rompers, kiddie pyjamas, that frilly thing on the head that human babies are known to wear. Bonus points for rattles. This one is the most accurate category, since human babies and monkeys share about the same intelligence level. Funniest: a monkey dressed in a blue one-piece and a Sebastian from Little Mermaid bib.
4. Monkeys dressed as superheroes: Spider-man, Captain America et al. The funniest is a monkey in a Superman costume, since he clearly is the strongest and most famous superhero and dressing a monkey up as him is cutting him down to size. Its like we’re saying “Fuck you Superman. See what we did? We dressed a monkey up as you. How cool do you feel now? Not very, we hope. Oooohhh look at me I can fly and be an alien but still look like a human. Well you look like a monkey now. Maybe you can fling your super-feces at evildoers.” Thats why this one is funny.
5. Monkeys dressed as other non-human animals: Monkeys dressed as dogs, cats, horses etc. The inherent problem with this one is that, since the monkey is the funniest animal, dressing one up as a different animal is sort of a step back. That said, a monkey dressed as a bumble-bee is pretty damn funny. Bonus points if it is also sitting on a giant plastic flower.
by Kumail

 

     

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